When you love, you’re never alone. To be honest, I used to worry about Maya being alone because she’s an only child. As the younger of two children, I always had my older sister to play with, or nag, whenever I wanted. Ironically, I’m married to an only child and many of my closest friends are only children. Somehow though, those myths of only children being selfish and incapable of being empathic got lodged into my brain. I didn’t want Maya to fall into one of those myths, as if children with siblings were superior somehow and didn’t have myths of their own.

Then, the other day after preschool, I watched Maya line up a group of her stuffed animals, grab a chair and began reading one of her favorite books to them. Of course, she didn’t know the words, but she told a delightful story about a little girl and her friends who went to a park to play. She smiled and lovingly looked at each animal as she read the story. It didn’t matter to her that they weren’t real. It didn’t matter that they couldn’t talk or move around like real kids. All that mattered was that they were her friends and she was their friend. She was not alone. All those fears I had suddenly diminished because I realized that while she may not have a little brother or sister around, she could share and love just like any other kid, and perhaps even more so.

Accidents happen, even to parents. Maya asked me to color a picture with her in one of her favorite coloring books the other night after dinner. I was coloring a dog with a blue marker when I accidently went “over the line” and got the blue mixed in with the pink nose I colored a few minutes earlier. I immediately stopped and said, “Oh uh. I went over the line, Maya. I’m sorry.” I sat and waited for my punishment. After all, parents know better than to go over the lines, right? Aren’t we supposed to show our children the right way to do things?

To my surprise, she said without hesitation, “That’s OK, mommy. As long as you didn’t mean do it. ccidents happen.” I about fell out of my chair. It’s taken me almost 39 years to understand this one life lesson. My parents weren’t perfectionists, but I inherited the gene somehow and had been striving for it since I can remember. In our quest for perfection, we can easily forget that we’re not perfect and, more importantly, never will be. Luckily, there are 4 ½-year-olds around to share this wisdom with us on a regular basis.

Embrace perfection within the imperfection. One of our holiday traditions is to avoid the shopping crowds and put up decorations over the Thanksgiving weekend. This year, Maya got to decorate her very own, and very pink, Christmas tree. I watched in awe as she carefully placed each of her ornaments and the gold ribbon around the tree, talking to herself as if rationalizing each step she made in the decorating process. The finishing touches included a piece of gold garland from Grandma’s tree and a piece of blue ribbon from our tree that lay ever so gently at the top and middle of her tree. I imagined her as an artist, wearing a purple beret and using her best French accent as she spoke. With her head tilted to one side, she would step back, put her index finger over her mouth and then shout, “No, no, it needs more, more I say!”

As she finished her masterpiece, she looked at me and said, “Mommy, isn’t it beautiful!” I said, “It sure is,” even though its little imperfections were bringing out the control freak in me. All I wanted to do was to fix it so each side was even and symmetrical. I kept telling myself, “If I could just move this ornament here and that ornament over there, her tree would then be perfect.” That afternoon when Maya was taking her nap, I walked over to the tree and planned to fix it. Luckily, the mommy inside punched the control freak right out of me as I suddenly remembered the joy that this imperfect tree gave my daughter. She was so proud of her creation. How could I mess with that? How could I explain to her that her joy was unwarranted because it wasn’t symmetrical? I now understand what people mean when they say embrace perfection within the imperfection and have no plans to change anything about that magnificent tree.

That magnificent Christmas tree!

While I may never completely let go of my inner control freak, my daughter is teaching me that there is a time and place for it. I can only imagine what other lessons she has in store for me as she grows older.

Sound familiar? What life lessons are you learning from your children?

Thanks to you, I have found a new TV addiction. It’s not ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy, A&E’s Hoarders or even TLC’s Extreme Couponing. Instead, it’s OWN’s Oprah’s Lifeclass. Maybe this show touches me because I’m in a place in my life where I’m looking to fill my time with inspiration instead of watching things that turn my brain off. Maybe it’s because I’ve missed you since “The Oprah Winfrey Show” ended. After all, I’m a Gen Xer whose daily afternoon routine growing up included the long-running talk show. Whatever the reason, I’m hooked.

While other shows on OWN feature our favorite media maven like “Master Class,” they don’t capture the essence of you, our teacher, leader and friend the way “Lifeclass” does. For instance, in “Newton’s Third Law,” you gave us an opportunity to understand how the energy we give out to the world comes back to us, both positively and negatively. In another episode, “You’ve Always Had the Power,” we learned that Glenda the Good Witch from “The Wizard of Oz” had it right all along – we’ve always had the power, we just have to figure it out for ourselves. And, I could go on and on…

Each lesson from the show reminds me of life’s most important lesson – I can live my best life. This has never resonated with me more than it has over the past year as I went through several jobs, suffered two miscarriages and missed out on many family moments. It wasn’t until after the second miscarriage – that “roadblock” I mentioned in an earlier post – that this life lesson really hit like a ton of bricks. With the love and support from friends and family, I’ve been able to see life differently. I’m on a good path, but still have more work to do. “Lifeclass” is my regular dose of ways to stay on this path. Judging by the show’s ratings, webcasts views and Facebook likes, it’s clear I’m not the only one who looks forward to our dose.

“The Oprah Winfrey Show” was your child, the place where you grew up, learned a gazillion lessons and shared your mistakes with us, “Lifeclass” is the place where you take what you’ve learned and wrap it up into one hour of wisdom and love, like a grandparent sharing advice with a grandchild over ice cream on a hot summer’s day. No one can remind us that love is available to us if we let it more than you.

We all know you wanted to slow down when you decided to end your daily talk show, and, who could blame you? You were ready for change and more personal time. But, as you know, we are living in unprecedented times. If there’s one thing we need right now it’s a calm, loving voice to remind us that everything will be OK.

So once again, you’ve given us more than we’ve given you. Thank you for seeing the need to share more. Thank you for helping us love in a whole new way. Thank you for giving us the chance to learn how to live our best lives.

Apparently, people either love him or hate Tebow with the same fanaticism typically seen by NASCAR fans. Take a look at these recent tweets:

“Tim tebow will never be a good nfl player end of story.”

“Stop hatin on TIM TEBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Tim Tebow has something most people dont.HEART.Those who say “it cant be done” are usually watching those who are Doing it. #realtalk”

“you know youre a bad football team when Tim tebow is your 2nd best quarterback”

“LeBron James & Tim Tebow: Which Disappointing Star Will Win a Ring First?”

“Can somebody please tell me why everybody is hating on Tim Tebow? He is only in his second year!”

“I fear what the Tea Party will do when they find out Tim Tebow lost his starting QB job in Denver.”

As I watch this love/hate relationship with Tebow unfold, I began to wonder what is it about this guy that brings out such emotion in people. Could it be that he was so hyped up during his college career that people are just plain tired of him? Sure. Could it be that Coloradoans just don’t get college football like we Southerners do? Maybe. Could it be that Tebow has been compared to John Elway, causing diehard Elway fans to dart the evil eye at this sophomore quarterback? Certainly. Any of these could be a reason. I think it’s much deeper than any of these though. I believe it is the strong tie between Tebow’s talent and his religion that sparks such emotion.

Generally speaking, football, like many religions, has a way of bringing out the best and worst in people. Fanatics tend to only love one team and/or player who they deem immortal and perfect. If the team wins, God was sure to be watching. The fanatic’s days of worship culminate mostly over the weekend and they repent in hopes of a fresh new start on Monday. They dress up (or down, depending how you look at it) for each game, only their teams’ colors will do. They give money to their alumni associations and seek out their team’s local clubs in search of camaraderie. At the end of every game, they feel tremendous joy or immense pain.

Since football and religion have a tendency to bring out the fanatical in people, it is easy to see how Tebow can be the center of this emotion. Love him or hate him, I believe he excels at his sport as well as his religion. It’s true other athletes have publicly addressed their religious beliefs, but Tebow’s approach is different. He doesn’t just thank God for his wins. He wears it on face, spends summers during missionary work and even starred in a Pro-life Super Bowl ad with his mother. He discusses religion as regularly as his football practices and no one seems to care. Or do they? Could it be that his love for his faith as well as his sport is a toxic combination for fans? Could it be that this combination brings out the best and worst in people in a whole new way?

Some people like Gregg Doyel from CBSSport.com aren’t quite comfortable with Tebow’s blatant use of religion. But, I wonder, do fans love him for his sport, his faith or both? Will his fans love him if he doesn’t succeed? Will they praise him and God if he does? Does it really matter? After all, he’s just a quarterback, who happens to be very religious.

photo credit: zastavki.com

If I had known 2011 was going to be my year for self-discovery, I would have planned a little better. Perhaps things like turning 39 later this year, struggling with having baby No. 2, getting invited to my 20-year high school reunion and watching the final season of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” were all signs I ignored. Before I knew it, I ran smack into a roadblock that forced me to shift into a whole new direction. Suddenly, the road I was taking just stopped. I had no idea which way to go or how the hell to find a new road. It’s taken me a little while to get back on track, but I have realized some things along with the way that I’d like to share with you.

Forgive yourself.

We make mistakes our entire lives. Some mistakes can be easily forgotten like cheating on an algebra test in high school (don’t judge…you did it too!). Some are not like marrying the wrong person at a young age or accepting a job where you had to work with the worst-boss-ever. Others are too painful to say out loud. Whatever the mistake, no matter the heartache from it, forgive yourself. You forgave your best friend in college for ruining your favorite silk skirt, right? Why don’t you give yourself a break and do the same? It’s not easy, but you can let go. When you do, you will feel liberated and see your future in a new whole way.

Learn from your parent’s mistakes.

If you looked up parenting in the dictionary, you would never find the word “perfect” as part of the definition or even as a synonym. Parents make mistakes, just like the rest of us. They didn’t (or still don’t) always have the skills needed to help you through the happiest or saddest times in your life. Instead of spending time holding grudges, ask your parents why they made the mistakes they did. This doesn’t mean forget about the mistakes they made particularly if those mistakes are hurtful to you, but rather learn from them as you embark on your own life’s journey. For instance, I never thought I could own a business because my dad’s company failed. I finally asked my mom questions recently about why it failed and realized that his mistakes don’t have to be my mistakes. Because I asked, I now feel I can make my dream of business ownership a reality.

Suck it up and meditate.

“I can’t shut my mind off long enough to meditate. Who has time to sit quietly for that long? Every time I try to meditate, I just fall asleep.” Sound familiar? Those were my exact words anytime someone tried to convince me to meditate or read an article about the power of the practice. It wasn’t until earlier this year when I couldn’t sleep or think clearly that I realized I could meditate. It’s still true that I can’t sit for hours in order to find clarity. However, I have found that practicing colour therapy meditation, a form of chakra yoga, and listening to meditation music from iPhone’s Ambiance app is a dynamite duo for me. Don’t be afraid to explore different ways of meditation. Once you learn to do it, you’ll never look back.

Laugh.

Watch your favorite comedy movie. Go see a comedian or improv performance at your local theatre. Sing a Justin Bieber song out loud in your car and laugh at yourself afterwards (don’t judge…you do it too!). Laugh with your kid about anything. Go out with friends and laugh about your day. Whatever it takes, just laugh. And don’t just chuckle. Laugh until you snort and almost pee your pants. Laugh so loud that others around can hear. There’s something about laughter that heals the soul. You deserve a good laugh. We all do.

Bottom line, peeps…life is too short. Like you, I’ve made mistakes and like you, I’ll continue to make mistakes. Instead of blaming karma or my parents, I now look inside to find the lesson learned from every situation. Today, I see my life as a whole new road trip. The universe helped me find great people and the strength to help me do just that.  I have amazing, loving people in my life who support me in my new adventures and laugh with me (and at me when appropriate). I started my own PR consulting business. I meditate daily and am always looking for new ways to get better at it. I don’t look back anymore. I only look forward at the new road ahead. Wanna join me?

…There is a season, turn, turn, turn…
At the end of July, I was laid off from my job. I shared my story recently on the PRSA Colorado Chapter Blog and haven’t looked back since. Thanks to friends and colleagues from the PRSA and Denver communities like @irant, @greeblemonkey, @sandyhens, @gtrupin, @caracrifasi, @crazycanuckblog and @gpelz, I was able to keep my chin up and find a new job pretty darn quickly. I’m going back to my agency roots, and I never thought I would be this excited about it. Well, I think getting the chance to get some new “school supplies” has helped that a bit (who doesn’t want shiny new pens, planner and notebooks, right?!).

A new job also means a new daycare for Maya. I know many parents go through changing schools, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy. She’s also moving from a Montessori daycare to a more structured learning environment. I don’t think either way of teaching children is better than the other, but for many reasons, this move is best for our family. I’m sure she’ll be just fine. It’s me I’m worried about.

Hangin’ with the fam
This summer was filled with lots of family time. It started with a trip to Steamboat Springs with us and my mom and sister from Florida. We rented a house and spent a lot of time together taking hikes, eating at Mazzola’s and watching Molson and Montana chase after birds from the porch. We’ve never spent that much time together and I’m proud to say no one was harmed during this experiment.

We also got a chance to hang out with other family members during the Fourth of July weekend. Before we moved here more than two years ago, I found out that I had cousins in the Denver area on my mom’s side. I try to get together with them every chance I get because they are a lot of fun and a big part of my heritage. The picnic was a wonderful time to celebrate the ups and downs of life, new beginnings and good old-fashioned outdoor fun.

The greatest thing about this summer was getting the chance to spend a lot of time with Maya. I kept her home from daycare quite a bit so we could play together. Who knows if I’ll ever get the chance to do this again, right? We took swim lessons, trips to the beach – Colorado style, of course – made many visits to Target, explored new restaurants, watch movies and most importantly, gave each other a million hugs and kisses. This alone made the summer of 2010 the best summer of all!

Believe it or not, a brown thumb can be cured
Since I can remember, I have killed every plant and flower I’ve ever had. Even the easy ones like Peace Lilies and Spider Plants would die within weeks of me caring for them. I tried last summer to grow a tomato plant and got one…the size of a nickel. This summer I got serious about it. I bought a gazillion types of plant food, fertilized with drought-tolerate soil and hoped for the best. The efforts paid off with a schweet summer garden in the backyard, geraniums that haven’t stopped blooming and an amazingly fragrant rose bush at the front door. I even have a tomato plant with more than 12 tomatoes growing on it (I cheated and used the Topsy Turvy, but still). While growing flowers and plants won’t solve the world’s problems, it reminded me I can accomplish a lot with patience and a little extra care. It’s easy to forget the need for TLC in the 24/7 lifestyle we live in these days.

Summertime fun
The biggest event of the summer was Maya’s swim party in August. Her birthday is in January and we never get the chance to have an outdoor celebration for her. So, we decided to do something big for her this year. I knew we would have fun, but I never expected to have as much fun as we did. Guests included some of Maya’s classmates, neighbors, family and friends. We had a big pool and bubbles and our neighbors brought over a bouncy-thing (that’s the technical term for it) as well as a slide. There was tons of food and sunshine for everyone to enjoy. Just look at that smile – it says it all!

Other fun things we did include the Rocky Mountain Gator Club picnic, Taste of Colorado, Fourth of July parade in Highlands Ranch, meeting the mermaids at the Denver Aquarium and a trip to Mount Evans to see the mountain goats. Barry and I also got the chance to take some hikes we’ve wanted to do since we moved here. From Fish Creek Falls, Blue Lake and Chief Mountain, we enjoyed exploring parts of Colorado we hadn’t seen yet. And, as you can see from the photo, the dogs enjoyed themselves as well.

Getting to know the gubernatorial candidates
At the end of the summer, I was invited to attend a debate between the candidates running for Governor by the Denver Post’s Mile High Mamas. Out of the three candidates running, only John Hickenlooper and Dan Maes showed up. I’m guessing most people there weren’t too upset about that. The debate focused on a variety of children’s issues including education, obesity and healthcare. They also discussed the overall fiscal health of Colorado. To be honest, I had no idea what to expect because the political system across the nation is in such turmoil and I assumed Colorado was no different. However, I walked away from it with new friends and a new understanding of the issues the state is facing. It also gave me a much-needed nudge to learn about the current legislative proposals as well as the platforms for which each candidate is focused on this election year. While only Dan Maes took time to visit with the attendees after the debate, I’m still undecided. I need to do some more research before I vote.

Overall, I would say this was an awesome summer. I was certainly given my share of punches, but I’m a believer of getting right back up once you’ve been knocked down. I’m looking forward to seeing what the fall has in store. I’m bummed that I won’t be able to spend as much time with my family as I have in these past few months, but am OK with not spending my days yelling at the dogs to quit barking. I also just bought some fall mums so I’m hoping to keep the green-thumb streak going. Wish me luck!

At the memorial service, many who attended made comments like, “I just know he’s ‘up there’ driving his boat around listening to Rod Stewart” or “He’s in good hands because God made a personalized bar stool just for him.” I found such comfort in these words. I had this vision of him laughing at the horrible joke he just told and giving everyone a “high five.” It’s amazing how I can still hear his voice in my ears, see his face in my eyes and feel his love in my heart.

These were all memories I thought were tucked away in the “one day I’ll go back to that moment” locked suitcase of my brain, until I watched the final episode of Lost earlier this week.

Yes, I know, it’s just a show. The characters aren’t real, and a story about a so-called island that made people “special” is crazier than the plot for Gilligan’s Island or Fantasy Island. But, I, like many, fell in love with the characters. They were flawed like all of us. They had daddy problems, baby-mama drama and sibling issues. They loved and broke hearts. They cheated and stole. They changed, for better or worse. They lived and died. All things we deal with throughout our lives. The moment Vincent the dog laid next to Jack when he closed his eyes and prepared for his death, the fountain of tears began to pour from my eyes. And quiet frankly, that fountain hasn’t stopped since.

It’s taken me a few days to understand why the ending of a fictitious TV show had such a profound affect on me and so many others. What I’ve realized is that while I feel this incredible sense of loss that’s as painful as when my Dad died, I also feel a renewed sense of hope of seeing fallen friends and loved ones again. I bet many of you feel the same way.  We’re so programmed to think one way or another about death – either you believe in going to Heaven or Hell, or you don’t.  We believe in either Religion or Atheism. But what about Spiritualism? Why has open mindedness about death become so taboo and why are we so polarized because of it? I think “Lost” reminds us that we should never forget those who are so important to us, rather they or we are dead or alive.

One of the things my Dad taught me was to appreciate all kinds of music. There were songs that made him laugh and songs that made him cry. In his honor, here is a list of songs that remind me of him and my pursuit of finding hope after his death. They also remind me of redemption, love and strength – key elements of the all-so-unrealistic show “Lost.” I hope you enjoy them. And feel free to share other songs you think should be included. Remember, we’re all in this together.  

And as far as my thoughts on all of those questions that were never answered? Well, I’ll leave those up to the writers and self-proclaimed show experts to handle.

Alanis Morissette, “Not As We”
Ben Folds, “Still Fighting It”
Bran Van 3000, “Everywhere”
Christina Aquilera, “Hurt”
Coldplay, “Fix You”
Corey Hart, “Never Surrender”
Dan Fogelberg, “Leader of the Band”
Dave Matthews Band, “Funny the Way It Is”
Dixie Chicks, “Not Ready to Make Nice”
Eddie Vedder, “Guaranteed”
Eminem, “I’m Not Afraid”
Jackson Browne, “Running on Empty”
Jay-Z featuring Mr. Hudson, “Young Forever”
Madonna, “The Power of Goodbye”
Sister Hazel, “Running Through the Fields”
The Verve, “Bittersweet Symphony”
T.I. featuring Justin Timberlake, “Dead and Gone”
Til’ Tuesday, “Coming Up Close”
The Fray, “How to Save a Life”
U2, “Walk On”

(You also can download the whole playlist here:  http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/playlist/Blog+post+songs/29855197)

I, like most of my generation, was introduced to the comedian through “Happy Days,” and later “Mork and Mindy.” For you youngsters, Williams played an alien who was ignorant of the human race, but found ways to be funny as hell about our social and political imperfections. His comedic timing was impeccable, but also the fastest many had ever seen before. He was the first person I really understood to be a comedian, other than Richard Pryor whom my dad adored. Like Pryor, Williams made fun of societal issues, human stupidity and most importantly, himself.

What I also have always loved about Williams is his ability to make fun of himself. Something I wish more celebrities could embrace, especially in this “15 minutes of fame” generation. The first stand-up show I ever saw Williams perform was one where he wore a Hawaiian pattern shirt, sweated like a whore in church and addressed his family and recent cocaine addiction. I can’t remember the year, but he also was on Barbara Walter’s list of intriguing people. Later, I remember seeing him on all of HBO’s Comic Relief for the homeless, where he showed his inner-pervert, and enjoyed every moment of it. Then, there were several memorable movies, “Good Morning Vietnam, Awakenings, Aladdin and Moscow on the Hudson.” Following were flops like “Popeye,” in which, just like all of us, Williams experienced a horrible disappointment. But through failure, he found a way to bounce back. In 1996, Williams’ role as a therapist from the south, rough area of Boston in “Good Will Hunting” who connects with a young, talented, yet abused kid from the same area played by Matt Damon (aka my “pretend husband”) reminded us of his incredible ability to make us laugh and cry in the same breath. His showed his ability to see his own imperfections while seeing the light at the end of the tunnel through love.

I recently watched Williams’ new HBO special “Weapons of Self Destruction” and was reminded of why I adore him so. He made references to the current administration, scandals at the Beijing Olympics, social media and its affect on face-to-face communication, sexual dysfunction, heart disease and, most importantly, his battle with alcoholism. Like his battles with cocaine, he faced his demons and made people laugh about it. He didn’t belittle the disease or those affected by it. Instead, he pointed the blame on himself with quick wit and self-deprecation. As a daughter of an alcoholic and one who has confronted her own demons of the disease, it’s refreshing to have someone on your side that can help you not take yourself so seriously.

Williams is now 58-years-old. In my opinion, he’s never put himself on a pedestal and has never expected anyone to do the same (Ahem…Tiger Woods). He has faced his faults and made the decision as a public figure to share those imperfections with us. And, all the while, he’s given us an awesome laugh.

I think most comedians are this way. They know how to make people laugh, even if it means laughing at their own faults. Classic comedians like George Carlin and newcomers like Dane Cook appreciate this. Williams knows how to do that better than most. And while doing so, he’s become a timeless classic for me, and I’m sure for many, many others as well.

Who’s your favorite comedian and why are they a timeless classic for you?

I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but bear with me.

As eloquently portrayed in “The March of the Penguins,” emperor penguins around the age of five make their way from the icy Antarctic waters to the same inland spot every year to breed new life. The routine is one that this amazing creature has done for centuries. Nothing’s changed. There have been no advancements or technologies to make their journey easier, less treacherous. No penguin has come up with ways to keep the eggs warm during the harshest blizzards experienced during this journey. No penguin fast food restaurants, no advanced travel systems, no new tools for communication between parents, not even fin warmers. Just the same journey year after year after year…

We as a species, on the other hand, have made awesome advances in the way we live, eat, sleep, travel and communicate. Yet, I’m continually amazed at the lack of support large corporations have for their employees, especially their communications teams, who embrace social media. It’s like the IT departments and executive leadership teams think if they block it, it will go away. As if it doesn’t exist and never will. Yet, consumers are using it to tell others what’s wrong or right with products and services, media are using it to find validate sources for news stories and nonprofits are using Facebook, Twitter, etc. to help victims in need after tragedies, like the earthquake in Haiti. And ironically, those companies who don’t believe in the power of social media are using this little tool called LinkedIn to recruit qualified candidates.

Ring…ring…yes, can I please speak with COMMON SENSE?! Smooches!

And believe me, I get it. It’s scary out there. With social media being the new kid on the block (for some at least), it’s easy to resist the change. But, here’s the reality. As futurist David Houle talked about at a recent event, the only companies that are going to survive the digital age are ones that can embrace change. Those that stay the same, won’t bend and flex as needed, are going to be left hung out to dry. One example of a smart company, Houle says, is Google – a company that continues to change the internet and communications landscape. And one company about to become extinct is Microsoft – a company that has solely relied on its software product for profit instead of finding ways to build on future needs of consumers and businesses.

Unfortunately, for the companies who stay mundane and make the same march over and over again, no presentation, case study, company endorsements, celebrity or well-known media outlet seems to help justify the need for becoming more savvy about the use of social media. It’s going to take a horrible crisis to open their eyes to the value of what social media can offer. It shouldn’t have to be this way, but it is a monotonous, same-as-we’ve-always-done-it march in an alarming number of corporations.

So, fellow social media advocates, what can we do to help our cause? What can we do to show the importance of embracing a new march?